After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
