I wish I only lived at night.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
