It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
