I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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