Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
