Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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