Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
