WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
do nipples grow back?
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