I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
