chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
babies were throwing up all over the place
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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