is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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