This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
