i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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