Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
