Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
