I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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