Apparently you make a good broom.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
