i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
