I hate all girls vehemently.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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