toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
