I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My penis needs a shock collar
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Drake has all the answers
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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