Since when is my name a synonym for head?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
vagina is talking i cant
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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