i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
