Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
