More tranny stories later!
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
