what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
