I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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