i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
