And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
