And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
