hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
