the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
