Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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