Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
