if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
