Swine flu. Run for my life!
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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