Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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