Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
