I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
