look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
