I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
