My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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