I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
