Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
