That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
