why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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