What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
you never un-have a 4some
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
where are my eyebrows?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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