I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
