im about as happy as oj after his trial
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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