so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
