Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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