he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
