i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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