btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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