Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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