There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
