so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
